This Painful Toilet Is Designed to Maximize Office Productivity

December 18, 2019

A startup company wants to flush your bathroom breaks down the drain.

In an effort to cut down the time employees spend sitting in a stall, a British firm has come up with a toilet that’s tilted at a lower angle to make long periods on the porcelain throne uncomfortable, reported the New York Post.

While an average latrine is horizontal, The Standard Toilet slopes at a 13 degree incline which the company says becomes painful if you spend more than five minutes taking care of business. Rude!

“Anything higher than that would cause wider problems,” said Mahabir Gill, the masochistic founder of the Standard Toilet.  “Thirteen degrees is not too inconvenient, but you’d soon want to get off the seat quite quickly.”

Furthermore, the company allegedly claims the slight unpleasantness of the Standard Toilet actually has health benefits such as a reduction in hemorrhoids and better posture. Your chiropractor is shook!

But that’s just a bonus, as the main reason Gill developed the updated commode was financially motivated to help curtail the amount of company time employees waste scrolling on their phones when nature calls.

“It’s main benefit is to the employers, not the employees,” Gill admitted. “It saves the employer money.”

The modified john is also hoping to cut down on bathroom lines and improve productivity as a recent study found the average worker in London spends upwards of 28 minutes on the toilet. There’s a fine line between doing what you gotta do and streaming an entire episode of “The Mandalorian!”

The Standard Toilet comes wall mounted or floor mounted and retails between $200 and $650.

While the company is looking to set them up in offices, malls, train stations and bars in the United Kingdom, there are currently no plans to install them in the United States.

So for now you can go to the bathroom in peace. But hurry up!

Facebook | Twitter | Instagram