Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
Yeah, I know, this is a really weird question. But I was laying in bed with my dogs the other day (yes, I let them sleep on the bed despite being 97 pounds and 77 pounds each) and one of my girls is super smart.
I can just see the intelligence and personality in her eyes when she looks at me. And I had this very strange thought… if she could talk what would her voice sound like?
I was kind of in the dog house this Mother’s Day…
I bought Yankees tickets to take my son to the game months ago and I decided that May 13th would be the perfect Sunday…totally forgetting that it was Mother’s Day. My partner, Kim, was kind enough to remind me last week so I knew to get something really special together for my wife on Saturday. I took her to Home Depot to buy dirt for her flowers (no, really, she wanted to do this), I took her shoe shopping and I sprung for a nice pair of strappy sandals, then we went to Staples for printer cartridges, and finally, we headed to dinner at 56th Fighter Group for steaks and then we fell asleep early (you know, because my son and I were going to the Yankees game the next day).
Maybe this doesn’t sound like such a great pre-Mother’s Day but it’s all stuff my wife wanted to get done and she had me along for the ride… which brings me to my evil, ulterior motive.
It always amazes me that men don’t pay attention to tone… only to the words women say… not to the TONE in which we say it.
My partner, Jim, said this morning that he and his wife had a bit of a difference of opinions about where to plant a new bush that he had just bought her for Mother’s Day. So, it’s HER Mother’s Day present and he wants to plant it in a different place than she wants it. So she ended the conversation with “fine, go ahead.” “Go ahead” in this situation means just the opposite. It does not mean (as Jim thought) that you are getting permission from your significant other. It actually is a dare.
And there are several other words that men need to be taught don’t actually mean what you think they mean…
Michelle Pfeiffer arrives for the premiere of "Dark Shadows" at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. ROBYN BECK/AFP/GettyImages
She is our dean of pop culture for Kim’s College of Hollywood Knowledge. Kim now has four losses on her record, so let’s go for another! On today’s show, since it’s Mother’s Day this weekend, Kim will play her mommy for the very first time!





















































