By Rahul Lal
One of the topics Amber Rose discussed on this week’s Loveline with Amber Rose was race. She was born to an Irish/Italian father, while her mother was of Cape Verdean descent.
“With me, I was never black enough, I was never white enough,” she said. “I would be around white friends in Philly and they would say black jokes or be like ‘Yo, we’re going to f— them n-words up around the corner’ and I’m like ‘What?’ They didn’t know because I’m so light [-skined] like my dad. It’s crazy and I’ve seen it from both sides actually growing up although I always felt like black people were more accepting to everyone even though America’s history probably taught them not to be. Every black person that I grew up with was very accepting, even the bars I used to go to that would have white guys that would come in and do karaoke but if you see a black guy going to an Irish bar, it’s a f—ing problem. It’s crazy.”
She had plenty to say when a caller asked for her advice on the issue. The caller has been in an interracial relationship for seven years and has been getting racist jokes from her white boyfriend’s family such as being referred to as a starving African girl when they all go out to dinner. While she has some patience on the issue, Amber had no patience for this attitude.
“A lot of people, especially older people, get stuck in their ways and they’re like ‘Oh, it’s a joke’ and that’s why I’m like, ‘Hit them back with something,’” she said. “At the end of the day, it’s not like your man is going to leave you. You’ve been together for seven years, they came at your neck a million times already. Hurt their feelings, I’m petty like that. I wish somebody’s mom would say something like that to me, honey.”
Her co-host, Dr. Chris Donaghue, took a similar approach as Amber, saying that he wouldn’t be able to put up with any sort of hate speech, ever. For him, it would’ve been reason enough for him to leave the relationship and he extended that sentiment to all types of people whether talking about color, orientation or self-identification as it pertains to the LGBTQ community.
“We live in a culture that people think if you say ‘It’s just a joke,’ it doesn’t matter,” he said. “No one is exempt from hate speech. You can be a comedian and you’re still not exempt from making hate speech based jokes.”
Another caller spoke about issues about going through the process of transitioning from a man to a woman. Finding herself attractive has always been an issue no matter her self-identification and Dr. Chris instantly suggested that watching porn would help to find her own body attractive.
“One of the main things I say to people who might feel unsure about their body, for a multitude of reasons… and this also works well with people who may feel they don’t have a standard or traditional body, someone who might be fat or disabled, there’s a whole breadth of people who might feel their bodies aren’t normative, I tell them one of the beautiful things is porn,” he told the caller. “If you go and watch the kind of porn that mirrors the kind of body you have or sexual interests you may have, it’s showing you that it is attractive or erotic to people. If it’s being produced, that means people are interested in it and to just watch these different bodies be turned on and aroused and having sex with people, it can really normalize that.”
He said that clients who come into his office with this issue often don’t see their own body as beautiful because they’re surrounded by norms set by society. Being able to watch your body type coveted is a major step in the right direction in loving yourself. Amber backed this up and the importance of making someone else feel comfortable, not only for their body but for something deeper citing her own relationship with a transgender man who was still in transition.
“I’ve dated a trans man as well and he used to hate his breasts,” she explained. “That was always a big thing where he had to have a shirt on and, for me, it was like I wanted him fully naked but he was just uncomfortable with that. Even for me, it wasn’t a big deal. I didn’t touch him as if he were a woman or anything like that but there are people out there that don’t really care. I really like people for their heart and personality so, as far as their body type or their racial background, I really don’t give a s—.”
Listen to the full episode below.