I ask because my partner Jim and I know absolutely nothing!

Now, in our daily dealings in the radio world, we don’t really need to know much about money instruments, the national debt or hedge funs. Nonetheless, BGC Partners has asked us to join them on their New York Charity Day 2012 where we get on the phone with their biggest clients and help raise money for our charity… Building Homes for Heroes.

So, we needed a broker who could give us a crash course in what to say (and NOT say) to their clients…

So, Ed Keslo drew the short straw and he tried to teach two knuckleheads who are on the radio the things we would need to know about being brokers for the day…and it turns out he was much funnier than we are!!

Here are some quotes and information to take away, courtesy of Ed Kelso:

Trading is not rocket science…

“It should take you a whole of maybe 30 seconds to get the whole thing figured out. Just don’t play in the parks of Occupy Wall Street, then they’ll really want a mark down,” said Ed Kelso.

Ed is fairly confident that Jim and Kim can grasp the concept without scaring away any potential clients or losing funds for the charity.

“We do nothing more than make our clients upset everyday. We’ll work you through everything. Like I said, we’re trained professionals; Highly skilled,” said Kelso.

No longer having an expense account, Ed jokingly warned Jim and Kim not to use the words “FCC” or “Obama” when speaking to clients. He did, however, offer some advice on words they could use to help their cause.

“Some smart words we could make you use: buy, sell and then you’re a genius. Thats all you need to know. If you could handle those two you’re set,” said Ed.

Ed and his co-workers trade the national debt. On a single day, they begin trading at $1billion and could go up to anywhere from $80 to $100 billion.

“Trust me is sounds a whole lot better than it does. Now if we could just get them to pay us that!”

–Kim Berk & Maria Bonello, Fresh 102.7

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