Super Bowl 2012 advertisers spent $3.5 million per spot to put their brands before audiences. The sponsors, including a large number of first-timers, trusted somewell-worn strategies: sex, cute animals, talking babies, celebrities and sex. Which was most memorable?

If you’re expecting to be shocked by all the Super Bowl ads, don’t hold your breath: There won’t be many surprises.

About 20 of the roughly 36 Super Bowl advertisers put their TV commercials online before Sunday’s broadcast. That’s a major shift: It’s up from last year when only a handful of companies released their ads before the game.

First I counted down the top five commercials of 2012, now let’s countdown the five worst!

First up is Go Daddy’s lame ad that once again uses sexy models to sell Web domains. I still wonder if these ads actually work. I mean, sure, everybody loves to see the ladies, but this ad just seems like it’s appealing to the lowest common denominator. The fact that the YouTube video has over 90 percent dislikes speaks a lot.

Next up is Clint Eastwood’s Chrysler ad. It is a rousing patriotic ad that goes after the emotional American rhetoric. Once you get past the emotional plea, it really makes no sense. As the people I was watching the ad with said, “What does this have to do with cars?”

Someone told me that if I didn’t like this spot, then that must mean I don’t like dogs. That’s like saying if you didn’t like Steven Tyler’s National Anthem then you don’t like singing. The genius that came up with the concept of having a chorus of dogs bark out a Star Wars tune should have complimented, but discouraged. It drove me crazy after about 15 seconds, and I just wanted it to stop. Take a listen:

Another auto manufacturer with another commercial that makes you ask, “What does this have to do with anything?” While the use of the Rocky theme is appreciated, it doesn’t do anything for the viewer.

This one pains me so much. I love Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, but Honda’s ad called Matthew’s Day Off is a pale imitation of the great 80s film. While it does recreate all of the best scenes from the original film, it lacks any of the heart the original had. It also goes to show just how old Matthew Broderick has become in that he just doesn’t look like Bueller anymore.

While the actual Best Buy spot won’t be released until the game starts, I am banking on this one being a disaster based on past experience. In particular, the awfulness that was Justin Bieber and Ozzy Osbourne in spacesuits last year. They were talking about a 5G phone, but the actual commercial was advertising their buy back program.

That’s logical.

Perhaps I am just sad to see Ozzy doing commercials with the Bieber. This was the man who helped define metal music back in the 1970s, and now he is doing this. I tear up just thinking about what madness Best Buy has in store this year.

There you have it. Some of the worst commercials that aired during the 2012 Super Bowl. What was your favorite? What’s your least favorite? Let me know in the comments below!


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