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[lastfm link_type=”artist_info”]Madonna[/lastfm] turned fifty-three years old today (though she doesn’t look it), and over that time she has amassed a lot of cash. Forbes Magazine calculates that as of 2007, the Material Girl has earned $325 million dollars.

While that can buy you plenty of cone-shaped bras, there are a few things Madonna still doesn’t possess. Take a look at three things Madonna doesn’t have, take note, and use them as gift ideas for her birthday.

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When it comes to the Material Girl, she has done it all and has it all… almost.

GRAMMY Awards? Check. She’s won a few of those, seven in total. Academy Award? Check that off the list. She won an Oscar for Best Original Song with “You Must Love Me” from Evita. She’s also a mother, has her own clothing line, and from what we hear, a pretty extensive real estate portfolio.

Money, awards, family, mansions, and millions of devoted, adoring fans. You almost have it all Madonna. We’re here to show you what’s missing.

And the answer is yes… things will get a tad absurd. She practically has it all!

Madonna “Material Girl”

NEXT PAGE All Hail Madonna!


buddy christ Happy Birthday Madonna: Three Things the Material Girl Doesnt Have

Madonna was raised Catholic, but now practices Kabbalah (which isn’t a religion, but a school of thought). Will she get all L. Ron Hubbard and start her own religion? Probably not.

Madonna has millions of fans, not followers. There’s a difference.

NEXT PAGE Up, Up, and Away!

A Space Ship

space ship Happy Birthday Madonna: Three Things the Material Girl Doesnt Have


With all that cash, Madonna probably has a private jet or two… or three. But those little guys don’t have enough juice to get her to the moon.

And even all those millions isn’t enough to buy a space shuttle. The Space Shuttle Endeavour, the orbiter built to replace the Space Shuttle Challenger, cost approximately $1.7 billion.

Sorry, Madonna. Looks like Earth is your only option.

NEXT PAGE I Pledge Allegiance, to Madonna…

Her Own Country

madonna evita Happy Birthday Madonna: Three Things the Material Girl Doesnt Have


Sure, she played the role of Eva Perón, the First Lady of Argentina in Evita, but that’s a far cry from running your own country.

If it’s any consolation, Madonna can play pretend president by laying down some cash for an island. For $10 million to $45 million, she can own her own island at The World in Dubai. Just stick a flag in the sand and boss the kids around.

It’s kind of the same.

Can you think of anything else the Material Girl doesn’t have?

Let us know in the comments section below!

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  1. matt t says:

    madonna’s kabbalah may not (probly isn’t) religion, but the original kabbalah was a mystic cult within the jewish RELIGION
    just so you know

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