Not a big fan of your in-laws? You’re not alone. Heidi Withers, a 28-year-old British woman is about to have a monster-in-law for the record books.

After a weekend visit to meet her fiance Freddie’s family, let’s just say she was not exactly welcomed with open arms.

Her soon to be MIL sent her an angry letter criticizing her table manners, family’s income, and eating habits. She even later went on to tell the woman that the family dog was offended by her presence, Bomber [the dog] was ‘profoundly upset, depressed and anxious’.

Upon receipt of the email Withers forwarded it on to a few friends, those friends forwarded it to friends, who forwarded it to friends. Now it’s the telling-off heard round the world. If you haven’t read it yet, here goes:

“It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.

If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.

Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.

Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:

  • When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
  • When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
  • You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
  • You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.
  • You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
  • No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)

If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.”

Heidi and Freddie are still planning on getting married, but something tells me that they’ll probably be spending holidays with the bride’s family, who have taken to calling their new in-law Miss Fancy Pants.

Read More HERE >

Do you have any in-law horror stories? Feel free to vent in the comments section below. This is a safe space…

Comments (6)
  1. paul says:

    Ms Withers appears to have behaved crassly if what the MIL wrote is true. Everything the MIL cited as correct behavior is indeed true. If Ms. Withers is dreading the MIL, remember that the MIL may in fact have reason to dread the arrival of her future DIL.

  2. matt t says:

    i agree with paul. what’s lost in the shuffle here is that, having been proposed to by the stepson, miss withers apparently presumed to already be a (badly-behaved) member of the family, rather than to conduct herself as would befit a first-time (and hopefully anytime) houseguest.
    prospective monster-in-law comes off looking bad for her unkind remarks about ms. withers’ family, but from ms. bourne’s point of view, how else has the bride-to-be represented herself and by her sole representation, her family?
    this is a classic case of the consequences of a first impression badly made, and if the truth hurts, ms. withers should profit by taking it as constructive criticism.

  3. Jes says:

    I guess everyone have an in-law from hell…my MIL stole from my kids jar of quarters that was in the kitchen counter top and both my husband and I saw it and so did my daughter who was 5 years old at that time. She went and told her grandpa who was sitting in the living room sofa at the time and asked why is her grandma putting her quarters into her own pocket. She claimed she was just trying to do some dusting off the jar….aaahem.
    We recently started a stock pile and my in-laws wanted to tag along, the MIL wanted alot of items but at check out she disappeared and I paid for everything. So when we got back and unload the groceries she decided to help herself to some of the stuff I have purchased without asking of course. My spending was $165 that day and she took roughly $40 worth of groceries, we have three kids to raise and I don’t think the in-laws should dig into my budget especially when they live in a six thousand square feet house with six bedrooms and five bathrooms. They have plenty of money but they both are so cheap but likes to cheap of us and I hate it. While she was at the grocery store she even said next time you guys should get us this because we are running low on them. I was thinking to myself….jesus no way.

    It was my daughters Birthday a few weeks ago and my parents happen to visit from out of town. MIL told my mom that it was her granddaughters birthday coming up and asked her to buy her some toys and give her lucky money. As you can guess already, my in-laws both did nothing for my daughter’s birthday, yep absolutely nothing. But when it comes to their own birthdays they will be annoucing it at least nine months in advance bypassing everyone else birthday.

    They used to phone the hubby up and ask to go breakfast and not only we end up picking up the bill but also had to pick them up in our van just because they didn’t want to add mileage to their LExus.

    Just like yesterday the MIL said I’ll treat you guys for lunch today and guess what she suggest to eat at the food court and we end up paying for our own food and our kids as well. Can’t wait to down size our mini van, see how they tag along after that.
    Please let me know how to avoid paying for people like these because i’m so fed up with them.

    My FIL is just as bad, he told my husband that he’ll give us three years after marriage to see if I fit in his family to accept me. Even since I learned that from the hubby that his dad said that…I don’t like him at all. He once told me that he doesn’t love his only child and that he doesn’t have to leave his money to him one day. Of course I told my hubby what his dad said to me. They both are really selfish people, I remember a time when my youngest daughter was only weeks old and that day she just had her vaccinations. The in-laws wanted me to drive them to have their car services and that MIL needed to visit her doctor. I ended up driving them back and forth and she even wanted to stop and buy some groceries while me and my youngest daughter wait in the car.

    They didn’t care their grandchild wasn’t feeling well after vaccinations as long as they have their own stuff taken care of. my god.

  4. Devorah says:

    After dating my boyfriend (now husband) for over a year and a half he finally introduced me to his father. I often wondered why it took him so long to introduce us, and upon asking him he simply replied, “Dad is very difficult to deal with.” Finally the glorious day came when I met my husband’s father. We had moved into our new house and he insisted on helping us move our things, which we had many. In the front door walks a big, burly, crude Brazilian man who upon meeting me belched loudly and scratched his private area. Needless to say I almost died on the spot and was simply appalled/shocked that he resembled nothing of my husband except for his striking good looks ( the only good thing about him). Ever since that day and for these total 3 years of marriage I have had to deal with my husband’s father on a regular basis. I have had a series of horrible experiences that one would only see on a dramatic soap opera including:

    1. mixing up the names of the father in laws numerous lovers. On several occasions the father in law pops in for surprise visits with different busty bimbos and expects me to remember all of their names correctly and what they do for a living and NOT to confuse them. Mind you, he is still married to his second wife ( my husband’s step-mom) and lives with her as well. His girlfriends/lovers live in both the USA and in Brazil and I have met them in both countries as my husband and I have homes in both. I HAVE confused the bimbos on occasion and was cursed out by the father in law as ” telling everyone his private business” as well as making my husband angry because he had to hear it from his father about how I cant keep my mouth shut. The problem is that there are SO many bimbos, I honestly do not remember which one is which and he never fills me in on the details until AFTER the fact.
    2. loaning money to the father in law ( 1,000 dollars to be exact) so he can pay all his motorcycle tickets in Brazil and who now is avoiding paying me back EVEN though he knows that this money is my money that I lent him and I need it back. As I am in Brazil at this moment, his latest attempt was to try and catch an early flight back to the USA so he could avoid meeting up with me and being pressured to pay. Isn’t that shitty? When I ask him about the money, he tells me his bank account is in the negative EVEN THOUGH he can afford to travel to and from the USA to Brazil three or four times a month. My husband is so upset at his father for borrowing this money and not paying us back that he refuses to talk to him and simply pushes it off on me. SO I have to be the nag.
    3. When we are in Brazil and need something from the USA such as a printer (which we always pay him for), the father in law will bring to us, BUT ONLY after jacking up the price that he paid which he calls the “shipping fees” even though the item fits in his suitcase and he pays NO extra fees to board the plane with the item. HIS shipping fees consist of usually $100 to $150 dollars each time. When I am in the USA and heading back to Brazil,however, he expects me to bring TONS of stuff with me in my suitcase for HIM to sell in Brazil and make a profit but gives me NOTHING for helping him.
    4. The father in law constantly says crude, vulgar things and cracks jokes in public that are offensive and then he laughs when people get embarrassed or offended. Once when we were both boarding a plane to Brazil from the USA/JFK airport I took my cat with me. The cat was in a carrier and was nervous ( this cat is very special to me and is doing great today) and the father in law carried the carrier as it was rather heavy. As we stood in line to board the plane, one refined, educated Brazilian woman stated, ” oh, look at that cute cat in the kennel”, and everyone turned to look at the cat. The father in law put the kennel down and said very crudely in Portuguese, ” OH shit, I HATE cats. FUCK.” and then stated to the same lady, ” You must be referring to me, not the cat in the kennel” as word Gato in portuguese means cat but is also a slang way of saying sexy man. The woman was so offended she turned as red as an apple and excused herself to use the bathroom. Everyone else just stared at me as if I was responsible for his crude behavior. It was awful but to make matters worse, the father in law went so far as to ask if I had a solid “life insurance policy” so that if the plane crashed, he could cash in on the money since my husband’s name was on the policy.

    One time when I was with the father in law and one of his girlfriends in the car on the way to the airport, he jokingly asked if we would like to stop at a hotel and have a threesome. Another time when the father in law came to the USA from Brazil and needed a place to sleep because he was exhausted from flying and far from home, I let him crash on my sofa. When I called up my husband on SKYPE so that he could talk to his dad for a few, he asked about the sleeping arrangements to which the father in law replied , ” OH YEAH IM GOING TO SLEEP IN YOUR WIFE”S BED OF COURSE.” HEHEHEHEHE and let out a demonic weird perverse laughter. He slept on the sofa of course and snored so loudly that I thought the roof would fall in.

    5. The father in law is selfish and egotistical. He only does something in order to benefit himself. When he comes to our house, he usually brings a girlfriend as I mentioned before.. but he is notorious for distracting us with the girlfriend while he sneaks into the kitchen and eats all our food because hes too cheap to buy himself or anyone else lunch.
    He also demands rides to the airport when he is in the USA, but whenever I needed a ride to or from the airport, he tells me ” take a bus.” He only helps me when I shell out money even though I have reminded him of all the times I helped him.

    This is truly the father in law from hell. I often wonder, when I have a child someday, how the hell am I supposed to deal with him as a grandfather without his negative influence on my child?

    1. matt t says:

      can’t make this stuff up! how did your husband manage to turn out decent?

  5. deb says:

    shes a be-ach!

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